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The Boombox Years (1992​-​1994)

by Cheerful Convulsions

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1.
Mosquito 00:16
Flea. Flea fly. Flea fly mosquito. Oh, no no no more mosquitoes. Itchy itchy, scratchy scratchy, oh, I got one down my backy. Beat that big bad bug with the bug spray. Beat that big bad bug with the bug spray. SSSSSSsssssssssss!
2.
Smokey 02:13
Here's a little story about a man named Hen. Told him he could sleep over but not in my bed. Gave him a little blanket and it was red. But the next morning it didn't look the same. 'Cause Henry came. I woke up from a pleasant dream. And I saw Hen laying in a puddle of cream. Then I said "What happened here? It looks like you've been jerking you queer." "I swear it's only spilled milk he said." But everyone knows milk don't come out of your head, Hen. Smokey, he used to be red, but now he's white. Ever since Hen slept over that night. Poor Smokey he'll never be the same. Even though I washed him again and again. Hen. Because of Hen. Ever since that fateful night. Me and that pervert have been in a fight. He keeps calling and asking to come over. And I keep telling him already he has. Hen. He already has. Smokey, he used to be red, but now he's white. Ever since Henry slept over that night. Poor Smokey he'll never be the same. Even though I washed him again and again. Hen. It's all your fault Hen. And that my friends is the tale of old Smokey
3.
Maniac Cop 01:49
I remember clearly. When Teddy was a young boy. I asked him what he wanted to be. He told me "A policeman." But little did I know. That one day he'd explode. Now he's a maniac cop. A cop who's out to kill. Think he's going to save you. But I know he never will. One day his store was getting robbed. The clerk behind the counter. He was my good friend Bob. He rang the silent alarm. And prayed he would be saved. Then in came the maniac cop and shot off his head. Now he's a maniac cop. A cop who's out to kill. Think he's going to save you. But I know he never will. The maniac cop just couldn't be stopped. They shot him, burned him, and bombed him a lot. I'm glad I lived to tell the story. About maniac cop, and his misunderstood...glory. Now he's a maniac cop. A cop who's out to kill. Think he's going to save you. But I know he never will.
4.
Noiyce 01:58
(Haw Haw Haw. This song is Noiyce. Real Noiyce) All these chicks they want me (haw haw haw) 'cause I'm noiyce I'm the trend of the week. 'cause I'm (haw haw haw) noiyce. I'm baked all the time 'cause I'm (haw haw haw) noiyce I shaved off all my hair 'cause I have (haw haw haw) lice. I am very noiyce I am so very noiyce I am so fucking noiyce All my friends they all say that I'm (haw haw haw) noiyce. Everyone dresses up like me 'cause I'm (haw haw haw) noiyce. I'll kick your ass if you don't say, that I'm (haw haw haw) noiyce And I am so noiyce I am so very noiyce I am fucking noiyce Dude...(nice)
5.
Twitcher 00:55
Poor guy couldn't stop twitching. Saw some guy who couldn't stop twitching. Twitching! We laughed for hours at the old twitcher twitcher twitcher twitcher twitcher. Why couldn't that mutherfucker just stop twitching. Plat.
6.
Abstinence 01:45
(Are you a virgin?) Sure I wonder what sexual intercourse is like, but I'm not ready for it now. (Have you ever been felt up, over the bra, under the blouse?) The idea of sexual intercourse is exciting, but there's more to it than that, and I'm not ready for it yet. (Shoes off. Hoping to God your parents don't walk in.) If you love me, you wouldn't pressure me. (Over the panties. No Bra...) If all I mean to you is a body to have sexual intercourse with, then we better look at why we see each other. You have no right to use me. (Blouse unbuttoned. Calvin's in a ball on the front seat past 11 on a school night.) The only sure way not to get pregnant is not to have sexual intercourse!
7.
Laugher 00:54
(One, two, three, four) Saw some guy who couldn't stop laughing. Poor old guy who couldn't stop laughing. We laughed for hours at the old laugher. Laugher, laugher, laugher, laugher. Why couldn't that motherfucker just stop laughing!!?
8.
Golf Cart 04:32
(Ahhh) Sitting here in my golf cart. Picking up some golf balls. Just strummin' the guitar. Here comes Jacques. That guy is a prick. I listen to the engine roar on my golf cart. Then it overheats. Mmm....tears up the grass. And here comes Brady. No it's not Brady. It's Jacques. I curse on the golf course. These members yell at me. They go and tell my boss that I'm cursing. It really pisses me off. And then I get in a golf ball fight. I throw balls at some kid. I start laughing at him. And then I fall in a hole. And the balls fly in my face. And it really pisses me off. Oh my golf cart. Oh Oh my golf cart. Oh my little white golf cart. Oh my little white golf cart. I love you so. Make me money. And I love my golf cart. But I hate it when the net is on. Because then I gotta take it off. And that gets me mad because it's hard work. And if I don't do it right. Then the whole net flies off. And I gotta go fetch it. And put it back on. And oh that really sucks. And when I'm putting it on. There's guys hitting balls at me, which I don't think is nice. Jacques sees it, and he gets pissed off at me. I'm gonna go get my check now. I put in my week's work on the golf cart. Time to get my check. Oooh my check. Oh I love you golf cart. I wanna marry you golf cart. You make me money. Yeaah, a golf cart. You're so cool. Cool.
9.
Hey Brady 01:25
Hey Brady How you been doin'? Haven't talked in a while. Whatcha been up to old man Brady? Haven't talked in a long time. Hey Brady. Get me some of those Primal Surfs. I like those Hawaiian shirts, Brady. Hey Brady. You going to fencing? See you there Brady. How about you and Jen Hanft Brady? She's your woman oh yeah Jen Hanft and Brady. Gonna play football this weekend Brady? Yeah yeah old man Brady you can do it. I gotta go now Brady. Call me sometime Brady. We'll chat Brady. ...later Brady
10.
Hey Brady II 08:51
Hey Brady. How you been doing? Haven't talked in a while. Since the last album. Whatcha been up to old man Brady? Haven't talked in a long time. Hey Brady. Gonna win the lotta again? Only won it two million times. Lucky Brady. I was a little disappointed Brady. I didn't see you and Melanie at the prom. Where were you guys Brady? Were you in the back of your hot rod? That's not cool Brady. Hey Brady. I saw your sister in school. She's looking pretty good Brady. Does she have a boyfriend? Just kiddin' Brady. So Brady. Are you ever gonna go out with Klassen? Just do it Brady. I heard it was your birthday Brady. How old are you this year? 100? 200? You're an old one. Brady I gotta tell you one more thing. You gotta clean the shit off your dog. It's got...it's got crap in its fur Brady. It's not too nice. Speaking of noiyce. The shore was pretty noiyce Brady. It was fun. Gotta go now Brady. Keep in touch dude. Later Brady. (Hidden track)

about

Teen angst, punk, and charm combine into a magical moment when two dorks discover guitars and a boombox. Originally recorded 1992-1994, remastered in 2015.

credits

released January 29, 2015

J Smee - Guitars, vocals, song-writing.
C Serna - Guitars, vocals, bass.

We would like to thank M. Hall, C. Serra, B. Magliaro, J. Simpson, et al for guest appearances, and all others who inspired the project.

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Cheerful Convulsions New Jersey

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